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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

[OFF] Complications of a troubled mind

Oh yes, I have a troubled mind. It feels brave to not study, it feels brave to not have a books 2 days before your Final Semester exams. It feels bad too. Bad coz I know perhaps buying them might help me with my score... But then, who wants good scores!?

Yesterday was a night where I did some time traveling, to a place I had left a long time ago. I found out about myself, what I used to be. What I wanted. Now, on the brink of  achieving what I wanted to be, it feels odd. It's  almost like a revolt within me, wishing time had stopped. It wishes for a break.

I just stopped the music. Its a lot calm now. I wish to break the glass, spread my arms, and fly. It would not matter if I cannot, because it only takes imagination to do so. I can already feel the calm. The coolness, the freshness, the freedom.

Sometimes I wish I never had a mind. Sometimes I wish I could not think. I wish I could only feel, taste and smell. The little senses of life mean so much. I wish I could lose myself and feel life for a change. And I wish it would last forever, I wish for death to stop and experience this flavor.

For you, yes you, the petrified reader! Wondering if I need professional (psychiatric) help, I tell you this: অাসবো অাবার ফিরে (I will return).

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